If you are part of the “sandwich generation,” those raising children while also caretaking for elderly parents or other relatives, you may be frustrated with your parents dragging their feet about planning for their golden years.
The following tips may make it easier to get them on board with committing to drafting their estate plans.
Start with a series of conversations
With the upcoming holidays, you have the perfect setting for bringing up the topic that nobody wants to talk about — their own mortality.
No one is suggesting serving up the turkey with a side of death talk, of course. But now might be a good time to take a walk with your parents or grab a coffee together and broach the subject of their plans for the future. You may be surprised (and relieved to learn) that they have already addressed this issue.
When talking doesn’t go well
Some parents get defensive about the topic. They may bluster that it’s none of your business how they handle their affairs. But it actually is the business of the ones who are left to clean up what they leave behind, both figuratively and literally.
You might want to start the conversation about your own estate-planning concerns. Approach the conversation under the guise of seeking advice from your elders about some common questions to gauge their reaction, then proceed accordingly.
Present them with options
Many of today’s seniors prefer aging in place, but that can be difficult if they still live in multi-story family homes or other locations that make this an implausible choice. See if they would be willing to downsize to a place that could be modified as handicap-accessible if necessary.
This often is not a one-off conversation you have. Instead, it may be the first in a series of civil discussions where you suss out their plans and add feedback when possible. If you approach the topic as a partner in estate planning issues rather than an adversary, they likely will be more receptive.